Smoke and Mirrors
by TahneeMariie
Summary: An AU of the last blight where three wardens other than Alistair survive and there different experiences with the blight. There is some inaccurate parts to go with my plot but I've tried to keep it as accurate as possible. Cousland x Alistair, Amell x Cullen, Maharial x Zevran
1. Warden

Whoever said the night was full of silence was dead wrong.  
Laying on her stomach with her head burried in her arms, Neko struggled to sleep with all the different noises around her. The large area was filled with large brawny men snoring there heads off, cicada's chirping and the fire crackling. Even the leaves of the tree's sounded like they were fighting against the wind, groaning at the effort of trying not too blow off there branch. Night should never really be defined as quiet. Especially when war was amongst them.  
Sighing Neko rolled to her side and rolled her eyes at the sight of her closest friend attending to the small fire beside them. Pushing her upper body forward she stretched her arms in the air and frowned, pointing at the man with an annoyed glance. "Alistair as your friend I will say this, you need your rest for what lies ahead. As a fellow Warden though I will say that it is childish to avoid sleep." When he opened his mouth to speak Neko interrupted him. "Before you start with any excuses I know exactly why your up now I know you far too well." She watched him wince and exhaled deeply before getting up and placing herself beside him. "If it makes you feel better I had the nightmare last night, I know how your feeling." Placing her head on his shoulder she shuddered as his breathing slowed and realised she may not have her story entirely correct. His confession broke her heart. "He's been gone for too long for someone looking for a recruit." Her eyes widened at the realisation that he in fact was just worried about their leader. Moving in front of him she grabbed his face and gently kissed his forehead. "Do not bother yourself with such a trivial matter, Duncan will be fine, he is always fine. The man is smart, strong, swift and recourcefull. He will always be back and he will always laugh at you with that deep chuckle." She let go and poked his chest. "Neko you know as well as I do that he is my saviour. If not for him I'd still be stuck at the chantry, alone." Neko wanted to point out that in her mind he was talking rubbish. Duncan was no saviour, just smart enough to realise who would make a good warden. She decided against it though knowing how much the thought itself meant to Alistair. Instead she decided to tell him for the first time how Duncan had recruited to her. "I've never told you why I left the tower have I." When he shook his head she grinned sadly before continuing.

Neko brought all the memories back, letting them flood her mind with the good times and the bad. When she was a child she had grown up in Highever. Always the rebellious child she had many friends. None of them were true friends though. All had shunned her the day she was taken by the templars. Except for two, Deseray and Fergus Cousland. Neko had babysitted Deseray since the red head was five. The girl had been almost like a little sister whist Fergus being her age had become her best friend. He at the time had known for years that she had magic within her, whenever they were out of sight of others she used to conjure all sorts of elements for them to play with. Not the best idea but it had been fun nethertheless. As time passed the emotions between the two teens had grown to the point of love never spending a day without seeing the other. It was the night they'd decided to do the diddy, her parents had caught her training and locked her up. The night hadn't been pleasant. Both mother and father had sworn she was no longer their daughter and shouted severe words at her.  
She'd had to grow up that night. The morning after she'd watched the faces of those she had called her friends as the Templars walked her away. All of them had looks of disgust or contempt, she'd never felt so hated untill she'd seen Deseray and Fergus arguing with their father to let her go. "Father she's not a bad person let her go she looks after me." "Father let her go, she's done no wrong, you can not do this to her, I love her." It was then she'd heard the booming voice of Bryce Cousland, instead of his gentle drawl it was harsh and direct. "Enough! The both of you, yes I agree that Neko Amell is a good person. I've known her since she was a child. But she is a mage and mages belong in the Circle Tower, even sixteen years of good deeds can not change your fate." She watched him with weary eyes as he walked towards her. "Im sorry my dear that it came to this, just know that the Couslands of Highever will always have trust and care for you." Quickly the older man hugged her before nodding to the templars beside her. They set off soon after, Neko never stuggling once with the men who travelled with her. What Bryce Cousland had said had made her realise something. Fate was cruel.

Neko spent the next five years in the tower, never once complaining about her situation. Simply she her situation was impossible to change. She was stuck in the tower and that was that. Some mages did not like that fact, complaining, threatening to escape and actually trying it. The're was a blonde boy she was friends with who succeeded twice. The first time being caught before he'd left the lake and the second time he never came back. She was saddened at first when he left but soon it turned to worry and then she just stopped caring. Afterwards she stuck to herself, she learnt everything they had to offer, she trained on her own most days and just became accustemed to the routine she had. Quite rare for the time period they lived in, whenever Neko was bored she'd pierce apart of her body. By the end of her time at the circle she had a total of three piercings in her face. Four more that were private and her tongue split. It was very rare of anyone having more than one piercing but Neko had always liked breaking the norm. After a while though even that got boring.  
That was until she met the newest templar recruit Cullen. The first time she'd set sights on him his eyes had met her own. As much as she was accustomed to magic she had never experienced anything like this. Her stomach muscles had contracted within themselves and her breathe grew short. It was as if everything around them had blurred away and all she could see was him. Neko had no idea how to actually stomach what was going on at the time, all she could do was stare. When he coughed she quickly turned away and looked at the wall. Her cheeks were on fire, how embarrassing, this stuff just didn't happen to her. Turning on her heel and walking out of the room to go somewhere else entirely had seemed to be the best idea at the time until she found herself in the entrance hall. Afterwards they'd spoken only a few times, every time Neko would take things too far and he'd rush off. She never could quite wrap her head around how being direct could scare him off though. This confusion had taken over her for weeks until she had her harrowing. The prospect of being killed had frightened her just enough to get her head into gear. The whole experience had been terrifying and yet strangely empowering. She wasn't stupid and had seen through the rat the moment the rage demon had perished. It was quite simple. Why would she even contemplate giving her soul up just for a 'mouse' as it were. No when he'd transformed she hadn't even blinked. In fact the demon had been shocked that she hadn't been terrified. Apparently he not the Rage nor Sloth demon was the one who hunted the mages who would go for their harrowing.  
As her eyes slowly opened her vision was blurred except for one familiar face. "Cullen."  
"So she awakes Greagoir, no need for the young templar to be in her face." She watched Cullen pull back quickly and rush off red faced. The thought made her smile. She'd never been attracted to shy men before but now, she couldn't get enough of his reactions. A few hours later in the Mages floor hallway outside of Irwin's office she seen the man of her affection. Sidling up to him she stood right next to him, reaching up to his armpit. "So I hear you have a crush on one of the mages here."  
He quickly went red and looked down at her before shuffling on his toes. "That would be innapropriate, Miss Amell. Mages and Templar relationships are not permited in the tower." Shuffling closer she changed tact standing right in front of him and put her arms around his waist and stood on her tippy toes. In her huskiest voice she whispered softly. "I can tell you now she likes you just as much handsome." Without warning he pulled her into the nearest empty hall.  
Quickly shutting and locking the door he shuffled his feet a bit too much and wouldn't look directly at her. "Neko, uh Miss Amell, we've spoken only a few times how could you possibly like me." Raising an eyebrow Neko pushed herself against his chest and him against the door before sighing. "I don't know Cullen, there's just something about you. Your kind and thoughtful and cute to a fault, there's nothing wrong with getting to know one another." Looking up she saw his eyes turn feral and next thing she knew he'd switched their positions. He bent his face down asking for permission. She couldn't say no to him and lifted her chin. "Do it."  
The passion was immediate, he lifted her against him and kissed her intensely, he'd pause and kiss her neck every so often making sure she felt good the entire time. It was amazingly sweet and gave her a more inside view of his persona. He cared about others more than himself. Smiling as he sucked at her neck she sighed before pushing against him gently. And just as quickly he dropped her. "Is everything ok Miss Amell." She lent against him her arms around his wide torso. "Everything's perfect Cullen but I can't let you do this. It would be against your code." Neko would of taken it further with anyone else but with him it was special. "I'd prefer we got to know each other better, for you." She lent on her toes and kissed his chin before feeling him lift her up for a chaste kiss. "Neko you are the most amazing woman I have ever met next to the devine. Andraste would be blessed to know you." Now normally at a compliment like that Neko would cringe but coming from him there was no other words that would compliment her more." He kissed her forehead as she beamed, her cheeks red before he left her on her own in the dark of the room.  
Life was perfect. Well for a few weeks at least.

Neko spent at least an hour if not more a day in that room just talking to the young templar. Sometimes a few stolen kisses were taken but they focused on just getting to know each other. It was different for her if not just blissful. Neko just really enjoyed spending time with him, time would stop when she was with him. He was not a templar and she not a mage, only eachother existed in this moment. She would of been happy to stay in the tower for the rest of her life if it would always be like this. If it wasn't for one small instant it would of. It all happened in an instant. Duncan arriving, Jowan announcing Lilly, telling Irwin the betrayal in hopes he'd protect him, being told to go help instead and then the quest for his blood. Being caught afterwards had been the cherry on the cake. Immediatly after exiting Neko had walked over to Irwin and announced her side explaining herself and hoping Irwin would rush to Jowan's aid. She looked quickly at Cullen who gave nothing away, just stared at her. She looked down, she'd only done as she was told to. She was loyal to the tower if not just to be near him. Then the blood magic came and Neko was nothing if not impressed. Of course she didn't say anything, the power that Jowan had shown was immense and it made her wonder. It did knock them all down however and when they finally stood back up the young mage was gone. The conversation after that was sour and she just stared at Cullen knowing she was about to be torn away from him for a long time if not forever. She understood at that moment it was death or she was to become a warden. Closing her eyes she turned back at Duncan and asked for five minutes to get a few of her belongings and pulled Cullen into the next room.  
The minute they were out of sight she clutched at him as hard as she could and cried her eyes out. "I don't want to go, I didn't even want to do this. I want to stay with you." He grabbed her face and and lent his forehead to hers. "Im proud of you, you went to the first enchanter. You betrayed no one. I will wait for you Neko." This made her tears fall even harder if it was possible and soon she was just sobs nothing more. When she heard her name being called by the old warden she closed her eyes hard before looking up into his. She tried to announce her feelings, "I", but her throat chocked up. So instead she grabbed his neck she kissed him hard before wrenching herself away and running. The last thing she saw of the tower was his eyes. Neko could see how he felt the same way that she did, the wrenching pain was etched all over his face so all she could do was look down and walk past.

"And then Duncan brought me to you and I met the greatest guy in the world. Before doing the ritual together." Forcing a smile Neko jabbed Alistair in the ribs. She turned and looked at Alistair before moving behind him and rubbing his shoulders. "Why the sad face Ali Bear?" He turned quickly and frowned. "You were happy there, you were in love with a templar, blood magic ruined everything for you, you could of had a life." Neko dropped her hands and pursed her lips awkwardly, "yeah, you could say that." She turned to the fire and noticed it was starting to go down. "Come on, let's just go to bed ok. If you still have trouble sleeping just sleep with me." She moved to her blanket quickly and closed her eyes trying to block out the feeling of loneliness that had washed over her.

"Guy's he's back and he brought with him with two new wardens." Neko woke to men all shouting about the return of their leader. In the background there was talk of attractivness and yay more girls which got an eyeroll out of her. Suddenly something jabbed her in the stomach, looking down she saw Alistair scrambling up in excitment. So he'd taken up her offer after all, raising an eyebrow she decided to tease him considering how excited he was. "Calm down Bear, I told you he was coming didn't I." The smile on his face was proof that it didn't matter. He was like a child with a new toy. Rolling her eyes she pushed him off her and watched him run off. Getting up she stretched before dawdling after him. When she got there she seen Duncan and King Cailan talking to two woman and a Mabari. One was clearly an elf, her hair tied up and her ears showing. All she could see of the other was a flash of red, her face was covered by Cailan. Patting Duncan she started talking to him about strategies and if his trip was safe. He explained what happened at Highever and her face froze. She felt tears well in her eyes for her old home but before they got the chance to fall she felt something nudge her crutch, looking down she saw the Mabari pawing her gently. Raising an eyebrow she coughed when she was knocked off her feet and sloppy kisses were planted on her face. In all her life only one Mabari had ever taken a liking to her and that was. "Barkspawn?" At the bark of a reply she turned swiftly and pushed past Cailan to see the one person she did not want to see in this war. "DESERAY." Grabbing the girl by the shoulders she looked her over and noticed she was in her night clothes. Pulling her close and keeping her covered she turned to Duncan, "what the fuck is this" He quickly re told her the whole story about the fall of Highever but added that the smaller girl refused to talk since they left and wouldn't put anything other than a cloak on. "Oh Deseray what will we do with you." Looking directly at her superiors she glared before adding, "I'm taking her." When Duncan nodded Neko took her over to the armourer and grabbed her something in the red heads size. "Put this on," When Deseray shook her head and lent down to tend for her puppy half ignoring her made Neko growl. "I don't care for any excuses, put it on. It's too late now your in this and if im here it's safer for you then out on your own in the wild." Pausing Neko looked towards the forest. "I haven't seen your brother but I know he's here so he's fine." When the girl reluctantly put the armour on Neko rolled her eyes and noticed Des wouldn't lift her face. "It's five years ago all over again. Your such a child." She heard rather than seen Alistair walk behind her and frowned. Turning around she snapped at him, "What?" She watched him roll his eyes back at her. "So not a morning person are you. I have to go see a mage about something, the revered mother apparently has some complaints." Neko looked at him intensly before waving her hands. "Lucky you, don't harass them there already awkward around you." She watched him practically skip away and shook her head. There was no way he wouldn't annoy the mage he just had a tendancy to be a smartass. Turning around she looked at Deseray and grinned. "Ok kiddy let's go back to Duncan before I get in trouble for with holding you from everyone."

Neko knew that Deseray wasn't going to open up to anyone anytime soon, which was upsetting. She felt Barkspawn at her feet as they got closer to Duncan. It was particularly hard seeing the red head like this for herself though because Neko knew what Deseray had been like. In the tower for the first few years what got her through was remembering her's and Fergus smiles. Though no matter what Neko was remembering it was hard to tell the girl to cheer up. Everything she was feeling was understandable. The girl was still technically a child, and at 16 to loose her parents with the choice they all die or she escape and become a Grey Warden, it wasn't fair. And considering how great her parent's had been, understanding, kind and always willing to help someone in need. To loose all that in a matter of minutes and then immediatly be told you must participate in a war against monsters would have to of hit a nerve. But the thing that was affecting herself the most was not hearing Deseray's voice. Neko could not remember a total of five minutes when the red head wouldn't giggle, make a snide comment or dance around your feet plus the girl's voice was like the chiming of bells. Sighing Neko pushed back her feeling's and brought herself in front of Duncan. "Yo, what's there to do today?" She was being extra casual knowing she was going to cop a mouthfull about her earlier outburst. Duncan only raised his eyebrow and waved his hand at the elf woman. "Irma take Miss. Cousland here and go find Alistair and if you see the two other recruits I told you about, bring them back here for me." Neko watched the woman nod before grabbing Deseray roughly and pulling her along. Neko, annoyed by this grabbed the woman herself, "Alistair is to the east talking to a Circle mage. You'll probably find him sassing whoever it is." Pausing Neko lowered her voice. "Also if you mess with her and handle her so roughly again I'll have your head." She watched as Irma's eyes narrowed and she turned around quickly dragging the young girl along. "What is going on Neko? You've never acted so out of character before." Neko turned her head toward Duncan and frowned. "Don't assume you know what i'm like. You've never known all of me you know the side I choose to show you. I was close to Deseray before the circle, she was like family. Don't get me wrong I understand this was the only chance she had at surviving but she is still a child Duncan." She watched his face crinkle in annoyance before becoming empty. "The wardens take all they can." Neko watched him walk away and leant against the nearest tree. Today was going to be a long day.

Deseray didn't lift her head once the whole way to find the other Warden, she just went where Irma directed her, in truth ever since she'd met Irma she'd taken quite a liking to her. She reminded her of Neko when she'd looked after her as a kid. She was stern but showed signs of caring. Deseray knew that Irma had been through hardships as well before being conscripted, she knew she was being spoiled and ignoring the elf's struggle but she couldn't bring herself to say anything.  
As soon as they reached the area Irma had held the younger girls hand and lent over. "I'll do all the talking ok, I know how hard your struggling but it will get better ok." She felt her shoulder be squeezed and grinned. It dissapeared though when she heard two male voices arguing. She tried to block it all out but one voice was embedding itself in her brain. It was laced in sarcasm and humour but she could hear the warmth coming through. Like it couldn't ever be laced in acid. She felt her cheeks redden and her heart pound. Her sixteen year old self tried to comprehend the feeling. She'd had crushes on men before, she'd always act on them until she was bored but nothing this quick and just from someone's voice. Frowning she slowly looked up and seen his face. He was handsome, he still had a bit of a baby face which only meant that soon his looks would become emphasized and chisled. Biting her lip she moved behind Irma more and grabbed her around the waist, she felt rather than saw Irma's shock but the woman was quick to push it away. The feeling was just way to strong, way to quick for someone she didn't know. Leaning her forehead against Irma's armour relishing the cool feeling on her forehead. She just wanted this over and done with quickly.

As Alistair spoke to the elf woman he was impressed by how direct she was and how quickly she got to the point. It was almost as if she pulled the information she wanted from her target just from a certain tone. The womans face was extradinarily beautiful. Her features were sharp, her cheekbones strong her skin quite tan. He also noticed how her hair almost appeared white in the sunlight, pulled back into a tight bun, she was gorgeous he couldn't help but to check her out. You didn't see many attractive soldiers in war. Grinning from ear to ear, he listened as she explained Duncan wanted them all together soon. Always having to speak his mind Alistair blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "You don't see many women in the wardens really." He watched Irma's eyes narrow at him before she scoffed. "You know nothing." Odd reply. Though it was true, there was perhaps a dozen of them including Neko, most you wouldn't be able to tell they were females. Neko on the otherhand was attractive but he'd never commented on it seeing her as just his best friend. He watched in curiosity as Irma clenched the girl behind her's arms tightly. "Your sister?" The girl was pulled out quickly and Irma shook her head. "My warden sister perhaps but no, this Shem is not family. But she does need protecting at this time, her whole world has been shook greatly so she does not speak." Alistair pursed his lips remembering the report that the younger girl had yet to utter a word. "The young red head, Im guessing the Cousland girl," He stepped towards her and offered his hand, it was odd that he hadn't noticed the girl at all before the elf had pulled her out. Remembering his manners he tipped his head. "I heard about what happened, I'm sorry for your loss wherever I've gone Bryce Cousland was truly loved."

Deseray gasped and looked up for the first time since she'd left Highever. It was the first time someone had spoken of her father since she'd arrived. Even Neko didn't say anything and Deseray presumed it was due to not knowing how she'd react. She felt her cheeks go red and everything in her view turned blotchy.  
Taking a deep breath in Deseray looked straight in the wardens eyes and lifted her chin. "My father was the greatest person in the entire world. And Arl Howe took him from me. I will not die untill I have watched that snivelling fucking weasel take his last breath." Realising she'd spoken for the first time Deseray frowned and went red. Well shit that was embarrassing she wasn't ment to go off like that. Deciding the best course of action would be to leave she grabbed Irma's hand looking for comfort adding a "shit" as she turned away. For some reason she needed the older elf woman to stable her emotions. It was strange but felt neccesary at that moment. "Deseray you have a lovely voice even if speaking of deadly things, you should talk more often." Irma's compliment flew right over her and had no effect. Shaking her head she heard the clamber of heavy armour behind them. Obviously Alistair was doing as he was told and following them back to Duncan. "So the red head does talk and about dangerous thrilling thing's as well. Quite the potty mouth too" Deseray rolled her eyes at his reference to her in the third person, she may of been mute as of late but the guy really had no sense of respect, he'd known her for what three minutes and already was speaking as if he'd been around her for weeks. Dipshit, how would he know anything. So why did her heart beat faster at the thought of him having her in his mind. "After all she has been through it's understandable she hasn't found herself as of yet. Show some respect warden. She needs time." Deseray smiled at Irma's support, she'd really found a friend in the woman. Well she hoped she had, she hadn't even spoken a word to her since they'd met, her only insurance was the woman had seen her before Arl Howe's army had invaded. She knew that there was a reason other than survival Duncan had wanted her as a warden. As much as she seemed like a timid mouse as of right now it was just shock. Deseray was normally obnoxious, out there and not afraid to speak her mind, Irma and Duncan had seen this, Neko had known this so as much as people wanted to believe she was totally defensless in every single way it wasn't true she just hadn't broken out of the funk she was in yet. Ignoring them the rest of the way she dropped her head and felt the adrenaline leave her body. All thought's left her mind and she just continued onward.

Neko was sitting next to Duncan when she seen five figures return Deseray in the lead. Deseray looked even worse than when she had left and Neko's heart dropped. All she wanted was the little rebel she used to know to appear again. Frowning she looked straight at Alistair and tilted her head to the side and his response was a shrug. Rolling her eyes she walked straight up to him and poked him in the chest. "What did you do Bear?" She winced at the hurt that flashed across his face and grabbed his hand. "I didn't mean to Neko, I just said I was sorry about her father and she arcked up at me randomly." Neko groaned, "I'm sorry just think about your attachment to Duncan and how upset you'd ever be if he was killed, now double, no triple that. That was Deseray's relationship with Bryce." "Shit." Neko nodded before looking over at the red head who was clutching onto the elf with desperation. Noticing that throughout the conversation's they all were having Deseray's eye's kept darting back to Alistair as if to see what he was doing. Raising an eyebrow Neko decided that was the moment to speak up. Letting go of Alistair she moved over to Duncan. "Isn't it time for them to go soon." She watched him understand and nod. The older commander cleared his throat before telling Alistair to get ready. 


	2. Cousland

Neko sat and stared at the fire place waiting anxiously. She knew they'd been sent on a dangerous task, but she also knew it was part of becoming a Grey Warden. In fact in reality compared to some of the stuff they had to do this was considered easy. They had to get four vials of darkspawn blood. Duncan had forbidden Alistair and herself from speaking about the ritual they were about to undertake, which was faircall considering the fact there was a fifty percent chance they'd survive. Now that was what had Neko worried. Rubbing her face she groaned. They'd now been gone at least a few hours and she was trying to tell herself they were just having trouble finding the treaties, that hope was the only thing forcing her not to run straight after them. It was then she heard the grumbling of Alistair. Snickering she jumped up and ran straight for them.  
"Just take that herb to the Mabari trainer and meet us back at the fire," Neko watched as Deseray walked off, her grin ear to ear as the elf woman followed. Walking next to Alistair she quizzed him, wanting to know why he was grumpy and yet Deseray was so happy. "Why such a grumble guts Ali?" She put her hand on his shoulder checking him out before noting he had no injuries. "Well first off we found an injured man who Irma decided it upon herself to put him out of his misery even though we had the spare potions you'd made me, if it wasn't for Deseray that man would of died for no reason at all," he sighed before continuing his face stained with annoyance. "Then Deseray completly froze and couldn't raise her sword when she first seen the darkspawn, nearly died if that rogue guy hadn't of put an arrow in it's face. Then we got seperated from her because she ran off on us. We tried to find her but got surrounded by a group of Hurlocks and an alpha which was out of nowhere, and at this point I had to try calm down the guys because now they were freaked out thinking we were over run and out pops Deseray's with a short sword and a dagger, shield gone and full on whips darkspawn ass. I now can see why Duncan chose her." Neko smiled with pride at hearing Deseray was the one who saved them all, just turns out she was trained as a rogue not a warrior. "Turns out she found the herb the Mabari trainer needed to save one of the mutts from dying which was lucky because I'd forgotten all about it. Finally we see the ruins where the treaties were supposedly located but they weren't in the chest before this apostate comes out of nowhere shaking her hips like she was all knowing. She just swooped on us, refused to talk to any of us but Deseray, except to tell me I was stupid and she'd turn us into frogs. Turns out she was the witch of the wilds and her mother is Flemith. So she takes us to this hut reluctantly on my part mind you, to meet her mother who had the treaties. This little old woman had supposedly been protecting them for years."  
Neko just stared at him thinking he was nuts, "And Deseray spoke back?" She watched him nod slowly before adding, "They wouldn't shut up, they just got along like a house on fire." Neko watched him pause and doubt washed over his features. "You know though, when Deseray spoke I couldn't stop listening. Every syllable that came out sounded." Neko watched him pause and cocked her head. "She has a really nice voice." Neko smirked at that, "You know one day I'll make her sing, she's amazing at that." But Alistair's reply made chills fly down her back. "If she survives tonight you mean."

Neko hid behind the ruin whilst they did the ritual, she couldn't watch but at the same time the anxiety was too much. If Deseray died here she had no idea what she would do. It was always sad when someone doesn't survive but for her, one of the only people she truly cared for was in danger. The red head she'd known since she was a toddler. The thought of watching her breathe her last moments was too much. But what could she do though, you didn't choose who could survive. The ritual did, no actually the blight did. As all these thoughts ran through her head she barely heard Alistair and Duncan call out to her. "Neko, your gonna want to see this." It was instantaneous, running up the stairs she seen the two women stir. Thank god. She felt tears burn her eyes knowing Deseray was going to survive. It was sad that the other two men clearly didn't. She noticed the sword wound in the knight but said nothing as it wasn't her concern. She watched as the two stumbled up and noticed Deseray had tears in her eyes. Watching the girl warily, she put out her hand to help steady her before watching in shock as Deseray ran off crying. Obviously it had been a shock to the poor girls system. She went to follow before seeing Duncan pointing at the elf. Sighing she walked up to Irma to see how she was before turning to Alistair. "Go to Des, she needs someone. Please."

Deseray stood at the cliffside and watched the terain. The place tonight was peaceful except for the few stragglers of darkspawn that would get taken out immediatly. But Deseray knew that the peace would only last but a few hours more. Wiping her eyes she took a deep breath before humming the hymn of Andraste. It was the most peaceful song she'd ever heard and her father had always made her humm it too calm himself down. Sometimes it would work for her, other times not so much. Just thinking about her parents though she felt her chest rise and fall faster. If they'd still been here she wouldn't of become a warden no matter how much she argued with her father it would of been truly impossible. It just wouldn't of happened she was his little princess never to be hurt, never to see a bad thing in her life. She had to smile at how ignorant she'd been. She had wanted to become a warden to be a hero, now she had no choice, it had just fallen to her thanks to fates hand. No it was thanks to that snivelling rat Arl Howe. Des felt her blood boil at the thought of the weasel and punched the ground screaming. "Now with that strength all Darkspawn should fall to your might." Des felt her face go beet red at the familiar voice. "Alistair what are you doing here?" She turned as he sat down beside her. "Oh so she's talking again. That witch must of put a spell on you. Neko thought you might want to talk to someone."  
Deseray pursed her lips and looked towards the sky. "That chick never used to be this thoughtful. But thanks all the same." She turned towards the warrior and smiled. "Im fine you know, just abit shocked, poor Daveth and Jory though. Who would of thought the two chicks survived and the men didn't." Deseray scratched her head and looked away, she was talking too much. "Neko knew you'd survive you know. She has alot of faith in you." Deseray quickly looked at him and bit the inside of her lip. "How long has she been here?" She watched him pause and his brow creased in concentration, which she couldn't help but find adorable.  
"Ahh, she was recruited about a year and a half ago but she went through the joining with me around a year ago. Apparently she had to be conscripted from the tower. Something about a blood mage." Deseray noticed his grimace at the words blood magic. "You don't like blood magic?" Alistair quickly looked at her, "Doesn't everybody hate it?" Deseray paused for a second. "Maybe, I mean I don't think it's bad if your using your own blood and using it for good and not bad. I mean it's just because it's associated with Apostates and Tevinter mages I guess it has a bad wrap."  
Alistair face looked shocked "Are you always this open minded kiddo?" She quickly closed her mouth and turned around. She hadn't always been like this, it was more of just opening her eyes for a bit and looking at the world around her. Thinking of herself back at Highever she smiled sadly and opened up a little.  
"I suppose you know about my family and Highever in general, yes?" She watched him nod before continuing.  
"I'm young I guess everybody knows that by now. But you know I haven't acted my age in years. I've been oblivious to everything around me that didn't immediately begin and end at me. Don't get me wrong I wasn't selfish, I guess. Well maybe actually a little. But still I've never been nasty." She stopped, ok this wasn't coming out right. "Actually no, I was a pompous bitch whom everyone in Highever had a problem with." She smiled at her honestly before giggling a little. "I never did as I was told, I couldn't take no for an answer, I didn't act noble like I was supposed to. I loved to play with swords, get rowdy with the boys and for my age I guess you could call me a, no just a little promiscuous I guess. But I was alway's daddy's little angel. To my mum I was just a little rebellious and to my brother I was the coolest little sister in the world. I was a great aunt and my sister in law only had a tiny bit of a problem with my attitude as long as I wasn't rude around the kid." Deseray felt the cold air against her face and shivered, wrapping her arms around her legs and curling into a ball. "They were my everything, no matter what I did they believed in me, and Gilmore." She eyes started to tear so she tried to shake it off. "He was my best friend, the only one other than my family who didn't just view me as a nuisance. He wanted to leave, he wanted to see the world, he was the one who truly wanted to become a Warden and he ended up sacrificing himself for nothing. Father and mother are gone, Fergus is nowhere to be found. He was ment to be coming here. I hope he made it, I truly do but I don't want to have to be the one to tell him about his wife and son." She choked up and broke down, throwing her head down and letting it all out. Everything was broken, everything was fucked up. She didn't want to be here, in all honesty she'd of preferred to have died and stay with her parents.  
Deseray tensed up when she felt herself be pulled against something hard. Opening her eyes all she could see was grey, she looked up and just stared. Here was Alistair a man she'd just met trying to comfort her. He was looking somewhere else but his eyes were determined. She also noticed his ears were bright red.  
"Don't cry, us wardens will become your family. We won't replace the Cousland's and we will never try to. But we will be there for you, I will have your back and I will always protect you." Both of them didn't notice him change his pronouns from we to just him, but the moment was there. Feeling a little awkward Deseray just stared and finally when the tears had dried she reached up and pinched his ear. With the awkward situation she had to do something to defuse it. "You have really cute ears you know. They really suit you and when your embarrassed they flush." She giggled as he quickly let go and looked down on you. "Wh-wh- what a thing to say! Here I am trying to make you feel better and you pick on me."

"Oh come on Ali-Bear you had to of noticed the atmosphere. I just tried to make it better." She ended her sentence by standing up and winking down at him.

"Excuse me, Ali-Bear? Where the hell did that come from. No one calls me that, and hey you were crying a second ago where did this girl come from?"  
Deseray roared from laughter which made Barkspawn bark and run around in circled, in some ways the Mabari reflected her emotions sometimes. "Oh you are just too cute you know. I just have to play with you. Also you liar, you let Neko call you that."  
"Play with me, what do you mean play with me. I'm older respect your elders girl." She watched him calm himself before he pointed at her. "What happened to the girl who got here this morning. You've gone from being look at the ground, extremely shy to being obnoxious." Deseray laughed again and had to admit the guy was funny even when he wasn't trying to be.  
"Im just," pausing she thought of her words before pouting. "I feel better, being around you apparently is like an antidote, everything just feels better." She noticed his ears blush again and failed to hide a smile. "Don't get so embarrassed ok. You'll get used to me. Let's go back to Duncan ok, also call me Des from now on."  
Don't get her wrong, Deseray was still upset, she still would rather take a sword to the heart than live on without her family. But she was going to give this a chance. Being a warden couldn't be too bad. And she could save some lives.  
Walking forward she barely noticed the rush of words of Alistair mouth but when she realised what was said she smirked.

"Andraste guide me, what have I gotten myself into."

Neko prayed by the time Des got back she'd be feeling better. It wasn't like her time with Irma had gone well. The woman had sat against the stone walls and just stared of into the distance a cold look on her face. Neko had tried speaking to her a few times but all she'd gotten is nods and shakes with no facial change. In the end it was Neko who'd broken down and given up on all conversation. Woman was serious about not opening up. Rolling her eyes she heard a giggle and turned to see the two missing wardens returning with smiles on there faces. She ran up to them and grasped Deserays hands before noticing her recoil slightly.  
"Des?"  
She pretended not to notice Alistair nudge the redhead closer. Instantly Deseray smiled up at her but it was still a little reluctant. Looking over at Alistair she was slightly hurt, but she shoved it aside and clasped her hands on Deseray's face. "You're feeling better? You're not ill from the joining?"  
"It's fine Neko, I was just in shock, nothing to worry about. I'm not dead am I? Ali-Bear you can confirm it for me right." Neko quickly looked back at Alistair who's ears had gone red from embarrassment and heard a snort from behind.  
"So the real shem has come out to play. Well hello Deseray nice to meet you." Neko looked back at Deseray who was happily smiling at the other warden. Well the game had definitly changed now, Des was back.  
"Didn't I tell you not to call me that Deseray?"  
"Didn't I tell you to call me Des, Ali-Bear?"  
Oh god, Neko thought she flirting with him and he has no idea. Oh Deseray, now was definitly not the time.  
A deep voice come from behind them and made them all jump in shock. "Now that everyone's friendly, you have a mission for tonight." 


	3. Consequence

Everything was chaos, the land beneath them riddled with corpses. Wardens, mages and recruits battled the overwhelming army of darkspawn. The dark of the night smelt like blood and blight. It was horrific but this was what was ahead of them if they couldn't light the tower. It wasn't too far away and if they moved quickly enough the backup would be enough to overwhelm the darkspawn and force them back.

Alistair trusted Duncan's word. But he hated he wasn't down there able to protect him. When he'd been told he was to come to Ostagar with his leader he'd thought he'd be constantly be by his side. Sighing he led the three woman and dog behind him, a mage, a two handed warrior and a rogue. Alistair knew Neko well, she could hold her own no problem and after this morning he knew Irma would be competent but Deseray. He was worried for the young girl, at sixteen she was unpredictable and it had taken a long while to break her out of her spell. Sighing he continued onwards across the bridge.

"Watch out!" The next thing he felt was the feeling of floating and a loud explosion, what the hell. Opening his eyes he looked next to him and there was a giant hole. "Crap," Alistair looked down to see Deseray on his chest with her hands to her ears. Slowly he removed her hands and smiled.

"Thanks Des." What he didn't expect was her to scramble up and on her way and almost instantaeously the mabari was chasing after her. After the last few hours she'd been fine. Just before Duncan left he'd been joking around with her and Neko about doing anything for Duncan except dance the marigold in a dress. Maybe she was just nervous again which was scary for all of them. They needed to rely on one another from what was happening here and there was a high possibility that now what was ahead of them wasn't simple anymore.

Hearing shouting Alistair rushed ahead. Fearing the worst he looked behind him to make sure the other girls were still with him.

"That idiot," he heard Neko yell, shaking his head he stopped when he realised his fears were realized. Darkspawn had made there way to the tower and were attacking all those who stood guard.

"Protect these men!" He shouted to everyone, though he still saw no sign of the redhead.

"Deseray where are you?" Alistair muttered to himself whilst pulling his sword and shield of his back. He watched Irma rush forward and slice a Genlock head off cleanly and a flash of lightning hit the alpha Hurlock.

"Alistair, we'll hold off here, go find the fucking idiot."

Shocked to here Neko speak like that Alistair pushed one of the Genlock aside with a bash from his sheild before rushing forward and slashing another. The tower had two outside area's, a type of garden and then a huge concrete like patio above the cliff. The former area was where he saw a flash of red before it dissapeared inside of the tower. Alistair was about to shout out at her before noticing the trail of dead darkspawn all the way to the door. Impressed Alistair ran towards the door before stopping at Irma's voice.

"Have you found the young Shem?" Her voice was a little shakey as if proof she was actually worried. Shaking his head he directed his head to the temple's door.

"She was so silent I didn't hear her kill these darkspawn or even open this huge door. It's impressive, she's tiny and the doors so big." They all proceeded onwards and he tried not to think the worst off what could be happening to the girl and mutt combination inside. Just a few steps in they noticed two dead Hurlocks, one with it's neck sliced open and the other with it's head completly torn off.

"I didn't realise she'd trained Barkspawn to be such a killer." Neko sounded honestly amazed and appaled at the same time. "He was an angel when I babysat them." He turned to see her visably grimace before hearing a high pitched scream and several loud barks. Instantly all three tensed and turned and ran towards the sound. In a matter of seconds they were in a doorway to a massive circular room holding at least twelve alive darkspawn surrounding the girl and dog. Deseray was just staring at nothing as if the last day hadn't happened, she was a shell again, tears streaming down her face. In front of her Barkspawn was barking and growling as if to scare the darkspawn away. Alistair rushed forward smacking the one closest to the damn mutt with his sheild before striking it's sword arms shoulder. He noted there was at least two magespawn in the room and grimaced as he was hit with a bolt. Using his templar powers he disabled the magical power of all beings in a 15 feet radius. Happily Neko wasn't caught in it's area of attack. At least his templar training was good for something.

It didn't take the four of them long to defeat the enemies in the room, but he did notice Barkspawn was reacting rather slow. It was then he seen the massive gash in his back. That would of obviously been the reason Deseray was in such shock right now. Sighing he grabbed Deseray's shoulders and squeezed slightly.

"Snap out of it, Neko knows how to heal minor wounds with magic he will be fine." He noticed her look at Neko's and assumed Neko had agreed because he felt the slight tingle of magic in the air.

"Why'd you run off? You're clearly not scared, you took care of all these darkspawn on your own. If we're going to survive this we need to use teamwork. No running off on your own from now on deal?" She slowly nodded before standing up shakily and walked towards the now quite happy and healthy dog.

"Oh Bark," he watched her stroke his fur gently as if too make sure he was fine. "We better hurry," she turned and said to him. He raised an eyebrow before nodding. Honestly what went through this girls head. He was going to have to watch her more closely or she'd end up killing herself.

Keeling over Alistair clutched his chest. They'd reached the third floor without much struggle. Irma, Neko, Barkspawn and himself had constantly kept Deseray out of harms way the entire way as if all three of them didn't trust her not to hurt herself. Strangely he'd felt himself closely pay attention to the elf woman the most. When she fought she was beautiful, it was as if she was dancing, every attack she landed or blocked was so intricatly done it was hard not to be facinated. The amount of dark blood that was now covering her large axe was inconceivable. Then there was Neko who was never to far away but never close enough to harm, all her attacks landing exactly where she'd wanted them too. Magic surrounding her constantly, protecting all of them in a barrier but still constantly leaving a damaging blow on everything around them. His best friend had always been one of the most amazing mages he'd ever met.

All of them had never given Deseray enough time to even do anything except unlock a few chests with gold along the way. Alistair himself just wasn't confident in her abilities yet. Yes she could pull amazing amounts of damage out of her but she herself was just so unpredictable it was hard to tell when she'd just blow up or freeze.

Then they'd reached the top, they'd reached the beacon and what was there waiting for them. A fucking ogre.

They'd all fought there hardest, they'd tried to take down the beast but it just wouldn't budge. It had made it harder when the damn thing had grabbed Neko up like a damn sausage and just squeezed before immediatly grabbing Irma next. The dog had been flung across the room and now lay limp and he'd been the last one to try. How were they going to save everyone if they couldn't even reach the damn beacon. His eyesight began to blur and the pain suddenly became unbearable, he had no idea if he was dying. His last thoughts went to Deseray hoping she'd just escaped avoiding the unnesassary pain that she was bound to feel to this monstrosity.

And as if he'd matterialised her his eye's barely caught a flash of red jumping onto the damn thing's back and climbing. Doing his damndest he tried to reach out to her, to tell her to stop that she'd anger the thing enough to kill her. Then he stopped in awe.

She'd stabbed the damn thing's shoulder before slicing it's jugular with her other sword. In one quick slice she used the momentum to swing across to it's front and slide down as if she'd suddenly become an acrobat. Without fail as soon as she'd backflipped out of it's reach the ogre had fallen to it's death. Deseray had killed it without even much effort. What was this girl? No woman. One minute she was panicking as if the world would end the next she was a total badass.

Without fail as soon as he seen her saunter towards the beacon he blacked out.

Deseray woke up feeling horribly groggy. Sitting up quickly, she looked around at her surroundings and couldn't pick just where she was. It was a cozy hut that was extremely out of sorts considering where she'd passed out. Thinking back she tried to think off the last thing she'd remembered. She remembered defeating that damn ogre after everyone else had passed out, which annoyingly none of them would of if they'd just let her pass. After only a few seconds she'd figured out just what exactly it's weak spot was and it would of been dead if they'd just stop worrying about her. Understandably she'd acted rash at first storming off in front of the others, hoping that if she'd snuck up and defeated enough of them they'd of had an easier time climbing the tower. She was after all a rogue, trained in stealthily picking off her targets and if that was impossible, dancing around them so they would have a hard time targeting her. Then she'd lit the beacon and tried to wake the others but then something she couldn't recall happened herself and she herself blacked out.

Sighing she again tried to place her surroundings, the smell was quite familiar but thats all she could make out. As soon as she tried to get out of the bed she heard a familiar voice.

"It would not be a wise decision to get up as of yet. Your injuries are not yet completley healed."

The straight to the point voiced oozed feminine icyness and yet Deseray could not help herself to just grin like an idiot. Instantly launching herself from the bed she threw herself into the other womans arms. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Being pushed a little so she was no longer in the other woman's personal bubble she heard her cough a little. "I just said don't get out of bed, I know of what I'm speaking of so why go against it." Deseray winced a little at the malice in the woman's voice before remembering the others. "I don't mean to sound extremely ungrateful because I am, but Morrigan how did I end up in your hut? And were there others with me?"

Ignoring the woman's scoff she looked at her hoping for the best. "By other's you mean a mutt, two woman and that oaf you were with earlier, then yes they are also here. My mother saved you from the tower after it was overrun by darkspawn. It seems your allies are not to be as trusted as you seem to think they are. As soon as the beacon had been lit Teryn Loghain ordered his army to retreat You've also been passed out for a day."

Deseray blinked, her mouth hung open. She didn't dare question the woman because Morrigan was not the sort of woman to lie. "So, the fifth blight has begun? Well that's awfully official isn't it."

She flinched when Morrigan stared at her icely, before her voice softened a little. "The oaf, he is not coping well with the news of what has happened. But he will need to be ready for what is to come. Deseray what will you do?"

"Try to end it I suppose, save Feraldon." Deseray was sure it wasn't the greatest of answers but it was the only one she had. She was sixteen for christ sakes with no family or home. So the only thing she had was the three wardens she'd just been aquainted with. "Oh boy."

Morrigan nodded. "Oh boy indeed."

Slowly Deseray walked outside still feeling woozy. The information she'd just received was still trying to process in her mind. So much had happened in just four days, none of it good. Rubbing her eye's she stretched her whole body feeling stiff in all places someone her age shouldn't be. It was then she felt ice down her back, the others would be heart broken. Maybe not Irma, but Neko and Alistair had spent over a year with the man. Walking around to the back of the hut she found who she was looking for. Irma looked fine talking to Flemeth, the older woman explaining something to the elf, the other two on the other hand were leaning against the hut, foreheads lent against one another. Deseray gently walked up next to them and wrapped her arms around Neko's waist. She felt the woman jump then settle when she realised who it was. "It's you Deseray, didn't hear you there." Deseray noticed that she sounded dead, her voice had no emotion to it.

"I'm sorry guys, Duncan must of been a good man."

Neko quickly turned back to her and scoffed. "He's upset about the commander, I couldn't care less. I'm upset because we lost so many of our friends, men and woman we ate with, fought with and knew their story's. So many of them had families and now those families have no one." Deseray grimaced when she seen Alistair flinch. Neko seemed to realise what she'd done and quickly turned back to the grieving man.

"I'm sorry buddy," Neko without turning spoke to her and even Deseray flinched. "No matter what we thought of Duncan, Duncan was his hero. He saved Alistair from a place he didn't belong to at all." Quickly she kissed his forehead and turned around. "Im going to talk to Flemeth, can you stay here and talk to him, even just being there will be enough. He needs someone right now."

Deseray went to argue but Neko had already started to leave before she could get a word in. Biting her lip Deseray sat down next to him and watched him slowly sink to the ground. She went to open her mouth and was going to talk about her view of Duncan but then stopped herself when she realised it wasn't a great oppinion, the man had taken her from her dying parents. Yes she would of died if she'd stayed but to Deseray that didn't matter she'd wanted to die together. Now, she wasn't to sure.

Instead she decided to just be there for him. Gently she squeezed his shoulder and was shocked when he immediatly turned and clung to her, hugging her as hard as he could. Deseray just gasped before stroking his head. She felt him shudder before her front started to feel wet, and she realised he was sobbing. Putting her cheek to the top of his head she took in all his pain, letting it seep out hoping he'd start to feel better. When he decided to speak she listened not expecting what he had to say.

"I only knew him for a year and he became like a father to me, the amount of pain i'm feeling I can't even think of what your going through. I mean I didn't give you enough credit, I generally thought it wasn't that bad having no parental figure growing up. Now, I feel horrible, you lost everyone and look at me."

Deseray sat there shell shocked before looking down at him.

"I. I didn't cope, not at all. I'm still not coping but I have you guys and I have a feeling that soon we're going to be needed Alistair. A blight is at our feet."

Cuddling him closer she smiled, "You need to grieve though. So grieve with me."


End file.
